Remember this guy? Afraid of his own shadow he ducked out sight at the first hint of conflict or something that threatened his image. Although that image was of a fierce, intimidating dude the it melted away when confronted or threatened. You know the story – eventually, he confronted his fears and responded with courage when something he cared about (Dorothy) was at risk. Unlike the Tin Man he had a heart. Unlike the Scarecrow he had a brain. He needed to open his heart and use his brain to find the missing piece. We are all a little bit like all three. Sometimes we don’t use our brain, doing silly, foolish and occasionally dangerous things. Sometimes we don’t live from our heart, acting selfishly or saying and doing mean things to others. Sometimes we shy away from the hard things, failing to summon the courage to risk failure. Usually we come to our senses and find our brain and our heart again.

Courage, however, can be the most elusive. To find our courage we have to dig deep, pushing past things that can be painful. For most of us the courage we’re talking about is not really life threatening. It’s not like the courage it takes when in battle or to work in law enforcement. It’s not like the courage it takes to deal with serious medical condition or other significant life situations. The courage we’re talking about is the courage to face ourselves, our perceived limits. The courage it takes to let down our defenses, take some chances and actually reach for our potential. Every day we face opportunities to tell more of our personal story. We choose to add chapters to our story or to leave the story unfinished. From my perspective it’s sad when a story is left unfinished. Most of us have much more to learn, experience and give. That doesn’t happen when we play safe. It happens when we act with courage, and risk failing in order to succeed and grow.

I learned a lot about this from the kids I worked with at Bonnie Brae. On the surface these are not likeable kids. Their behaviors challenge everything you learned about respecting others and principles of a civil society. They are the kids you read about, selling drugs, committing crimes in the community - often violent crimes. Thrown out of community schools, they have been accepted then rejected from numerous foster placements, in and out of psychiatric facilities and correctional programs, and isolated from extended family and home town communities. They create victims and are also victims of their own behavior. We want them out of our communities, out of our way, somewhere where we don’t have to deal with their behavior. In my role there I was supposed to be a role model, the authority, enforcing the rules and teaching them how to live their lives. In theory we were guiding them through life experiences, helping them to make better choices. In reality it was a reciprocal relationship. We learned as much from them as they did from us.

I learned that what I think is a bad day is nothing compared to what they deal with every day. What I might think is a difficult time for me is a day in the park for them. Many of the boys have the courage to persevere. They don’t quit. They are strong in their own way. While they lack the skills needed to cope with their challenges appropriately they have the grit needed to hang on. It takes courage to survive and to change. Working with them involves tapping in to the strengths and challenging their dysfunctional strategies. Twenty five of the staff I worked with were skilled group facilitators. We used a challenge course (ropes course) as part of our adventure therapy program. The course itself was similar to the one we built at Custom Alloy and use with our One Voice high school players. The program is strength based – it looks to build on the things people do well, acknowledge the things we don’t do well and commit to working through the discomfort related to being better. It takes courage to confront your own dysfunctional behaviors and consider other, healthier behaviors. These kids were resistant to traditional therapy approaches. The experiential activities we used gave us novel ways to work on some of the deep issues related to their treatment. We learned that many of these kids are more than their history indicates. Adventure activities can give us a glimpse of their untapped qualities. We found that they can be bright, resilient, resourceful and courageous. The years of abuse, anger, and multiple failures buried these qualities, but if you dug deep enough they could be uncovered again.

One of the philosophical principles of challenge course activities is the concept of Challenge by Choice. The abbreviated explanation of Challenge by Choice is that we are all free to choose if and when we want to challenge ourselves. Without the freedom to choose there is little or no benefit from the activities. All participants are asked to respect the decisions of every participant in the group. Challenge by Choice also acknowledges that it sometimes takes more courage to say “no”, and choose not to participate, than it does to participate in a challenge due to peer pressure or coercion. Challenge course activities evolve with the group’s experience. As groups demonstrate an ability to work safely and productively intensity is added, challenging the new norms. Over time, if all goes well, the group takes on new challenges, each pushing them past their current comfort zone. Through the process the group is continually learning that their perceived limits are just that. They are perceived, not real limits. They discover and use strengths and abilities they didn’t use before. A “peak experience” in the challenge course program usually involves a high ropes activity. Participants in high ropes activities wear a full body harness and are attached to a rope, and “belayed”, a safety system similar to that used by rock climbers.

One such activity is known as the Pamper Pole. Aptly named, the challenge is to climb a ladder then up a tree or telephone pole to a height of 40 – 50 feet, balance yourself on the platform that is placed at the top, and then, if you choose to, leap out 8 feet from the platform and catch a trapeze suspended from another tree. It is literally a leap of faith. In the course of a day’s climbs facilitators will see a number of different responses to the Pamper Pole challenge. Some climb and jump without hesitation. Typically these are risk takers by nature or people who, through experience, have grown to trust the process and the facilitator. Often these participants are challenged more by activities that involve trusting others or appearing vulnerable. Some others have difficulty climbing past just a few steps up the ladder. They get stuck, literally paralyzed by fear. There are participants who get through the climb but pause at the thought of jumping for the trapeze. Sometimes they will stand on the platform and say “OK, on the count of three. One…. Two….” They remain on the platform struggling to get unstuck. Often the climber works through the struggle and takes one more step or jumps for the trapeze. Sometimes they don’t. There will be other opportunities to challenge yourself soon enough.

We all let things get in our way, keeping us “safe”, unthreatened and unchallenged. In our normal routine we know where we can “hide” and stay comfortable. It’s a little different on the challenge course. By definition these activities are designed to give you opportunities to challenge your perceived limits. Skilled facilitators know that the most important moments in any day’s activities come when a participant is faced with a decision that challenges his or her comfort zone. A skilled facilitator will not use pressure or coercion to push the participant towards their decision. They will, however, encourage the participants to consider what is in the way - acknowledge that something is making the choice of action difficult. Becoming aware of the obstacle is the first step towards getting past the obstacle. The facilitator’s job is to support the climber in making their decision – whatever it is. We respect the struggle. Success is defined by our effort to move the “I’m stuck” bar just a little. That bar is set at different points for everybody. Courage is needed to take just one more step on the ladder, to climb to the platform, to leap for the trapeze or to say, “No, I’m not going to do it”. Growth comes from moving the bar – from wherever it was. The climber who works through the fear and takes another step up the ladder is every bit as courageous as the climber who goes for the trapeze. I often think the climber who says “no” to the peer pressure to climb is the most courageous of all.

To be exceptional at anything you will have to work through some obstacles. Achieving excellence is not easy. Sooner or later you will be faced with a decision – Am I OK where I am or is there more to learn? As it pertains to basketball the really good players have chosen the later. They know there is always more to learn. Every time they open themselves up to learning new things they risk struggling, maybe failing. Their desire to be better helps push them past the fear. Every little step counts. The next step for each of you if different. Some of you are on the ladder, some are on the platform. A few of you made the leap and are already looking for the next challenge. If you are new to us you are working on the basics. If you’ve been around for a while the next step if often pushing through the “I’m good enough” status. These are your challenge by choice decisions. When you sign up with us you understand that we will push you to see what’s in the way of your development as a player. We have high expectations. We will remind you of your potential and commitment to improve. There is nothing that we will ask you to do that can’t be done. What you choose to do with that information is up to you. We hope you continue to write your story, getting closer and closer to the best you can be.

Bob Peterman